Campaign for a Harassment Free Internet |
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As moderator of the St Johns Amputee Listserv and operator of the most popular amputee oriented web site on the net - I am sadly aware of the issue of unwanted harrassment toward amputees via e-mail.
What is a devotee? After starting the St Johns Amputee List in 1994, it became clear that there is a certain segment of the population (mainly, but not limited to men) that has little or no inhibitions towards approaching amputee women with their ideas of sexual fantasy and other inappropriate behaviour. In fact, in its early days the St Johns list contained considerable debate on the validity of the list being used as an amputee/devotee meeting place.
Although I have done my utmost (involving some rather drastic steps) to make the St Johns list a wholly "amputee-oriented" environment, even today there are "devotees" on the list that insist on harassing the amputee members of the list. No one can tell who the devotees are and many the recipients of the unwanted attention are not prepared to come forward with the offenders address, mainly in fear of reprisals. It has become increasingly difficult for female amputee 's to voice their concerns, even in a supposed safe environment such as the St Johns list.
The issue came to a point recently as the following private e-mail to me regarding listserv member introductions on the Amputee WEB Site:
Ian,
I have a favor to ask of you. I would like to have my introduction and home page URL removed from the amputee home page. Unfortunately, I have been getting e-mails from devotees who read the introduction. I know the amputee home page has to be how they locate me because on my personal home page, I make no mention of my amputation (for this very reason). I guess they use the link to my personal home page and get my e-mail address. Anyway, I would like for these annoying (and somewhat disturbing) e-mails to end as quickly as possible.
Thank you for removing my introduction and URL from the amputee home page. I appreciate it.WHY is this happening? NO ONE deserves to be "stalked" via e-mail. So rather than feeling alone there are steps that can be taken to combat e-mail harassment.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
Let's get one thing straight - NOT ALL devotees are wierdos. And although some amputees are repulsed by the idea of having a severed limb as a sexual stimulator, many amputees have no feeling either way, some amputees even seek out devotees and are glad for the sexual attention in an otherwise perceived non-attentive population. Many new amputees seeking information on the net often fall prey to devotees without even knowing such attractions exist - not exactly the best way to welcome a new amp to the world of limb-loss.
Of course the amputees who continue to receive unwanted sexual advances through e-mail DO have opinions.
No one should have to hide the fact they are an amputee, especially if it is relevant to an internet discusion. Many amputees fear revealing the fact they are amputees in case a devotee without any moral fibre sexually harasses them via e-mail - THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.
I call on amputees, devotees and anyone else who cares about free speech to join the campaign for a harrassment free environment on the net by displaying any or all of the logos below on your web site. More logos are being designed.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE THE SYMPTOMS
1. Anyone who sends you e-mail could eventually turn nasty on you. Mailing lists are notorious for their "flame wars", if you are a member of a list and voice your opinions you could be subject to harassing email in private and on the list you belong to. The e-mail becomes harrassment when YOU decide, only you can judge when the discussion is over and the unwanted threats begin.
2. Trust your insticts - if someone approached you in the middle of the street and started asking you about your limb loss, what clothes you wear and other seemingly innocent questions, you might suspect something. Exactly the same occurs in e-mail except you cannot see what the person looks like. So if you do start receiving e-mail from a total stranger don't let the novelty of e-mail blind you to the potential problems that could result.
As an example: if a person starts asking you various questions about crutches, clothing, do you go out to bars, shoes and other habits, BE SUSPICIOUS! If YOU want to continue don't be afraid to ask that person similar questions, find out more about them. Consider what the person IS NOT saying and look for people avoiding the questions you ask of them. If someone completely ignores the questions you ask - they are not interested in what you have to say - only in what they are saying to you.
Be up front and assertive, let the person know you are NOT interested in a relationship, but would like to keep in contact or would like to have no contact at all. Be honest right from the beginning.
Check this web page for some tips on assertiveness
WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE RECIEVING HARASSING E-MAIL
1. DO NOT respond to any of the e-mails. If you have any filtering capabilities on your e-mail program use them. Eudora Pro (for Mac and Windoze) has extensive filtering capabilities - might be worth the small investment and you will never see the e-mails once the software is configured correctly.
2. Contact the postmaster@domain.xxx If the Internet Service Provider is above board, the company is obligated to notify their client a complaint has been received - untimatley if the deviant behaviour continues the harasser will have his/her internet account or priviledges revoked.
3. If you get no satisfaction or results with the ISP. Contact your own ISP with the domain name of the harasser and copies of the offending e-mail. The ISP can track down where the e-mail has been routed from and locate the source of the e-mail. (AOL and similar online services that can change user addresses easily are often the source of unwanted e-mail).
4. You can also perform your own research by any major web search engine. Simply perform a web search under the domain name such as "portal.ca". You should be able to find where that ISP is located from a web search.
5. Contact the authorities in that city or town. Contacting the police or if in a university campus security may not result in a conviction but it may result in a visit to the offending persons front door - which can have an interesting way of changing ones behaviour. If the harasser if sending mail from a company address contact the persons superior or postmaster.
ONE FINAL NOTE
I don't speak for ALL amputees, but I do hear from a lot of amputees on a daily basis, I hear opinions and I hear their concerns. I also hear devotees wanting to be treated with more respect and claiming that not all of them are sick and perverted. After all there is a signifcant difference between "just curious", "sexual harassment" and "stalking".
I have attempted to provide sound advice regarding unwanted and harassing e-mail of a sexual nature, the ultimate judge of its validity is YOU- the harassed. Use it as you see fit and feel free to ask for more advice via e-mail.
All things considered I believe it more important to have the information from a man than NOT to have the information available at all. I don't want to be seen as a condescending and unwanted "knight in shining armour". It is my hope that female amputees will take the initiative in this matter. Ninety per cent of the harassment going on is by men toward women, let us not forget that significant fact.
Check this page for links that deal with internet harassment