Listening is only one aspect of communication. Speaking assertively, letting
the other person know what you think and how you feel, is another. First,
it is important to define what assertiveness means.
Assertion theory is based on the following beliefs:
- our needs are as important as the needs of others
- we have the right to stand up for ourselves when
others demean us
- we have the right to refuse requests without
having to feel guilty or selfish
- we have the right to express ourselves as long
as we don't violate the rights of others
When our goal is to communicate collaboratively, we will be inclined to
show respect for the points of view and feelings of both people. When we
are behaving assertively, we do not lose sight of the other person. Assertiveness
is not just about 'me'. Assertiveness combines self assurance with empathy.
When our goal is to get our own way and ignore the needs of another, we
cross the line into aggressive behaviour. When we do not let others know
what we think and how we feel, or we try but give up, we are demonstrating
passive behaviour.
Taken from the Justice Institute
of BC course book on Conflict Resolution